It is 9 am ,didn't sleep again.Have been having lots of different types of headaches these days.Sinus,stress,cluster headaches and the big M.Migraine headaches are from hell.Plus I need new glasses and won't have the money for them until next week,and than it takes another week for Walmart to get them in.Sheesh.
Hubby went to mens prayer this am at his church.He is driving less and less,for the good of all.I am worried though,he was really out of it when he left.
As much as I hate "Church"I am going to take hubby tomorrow because it will make him happy.I want to make him happy.So I will swallow my pride,push down the bile I feel when I enter that church,and do it for Paul.
I am thankful for the few hours this am of solitude,and quiet.When Paul is home,which is a lot these days,it is a mental time bomb .His moods cycle so quickly,I have to be one step ahead.When he accuses me of poisoning his juice,sometime I change the subject,other times I joke,Hey if I wanted to kill you,I would smother you in your sleep.I know,morbid humor,but anyone dealing with this disease will totally understand.
I am finally able to say,my knee that had the surgery is doing much better,less pain,more mobility,that is so good.
I actually spent most of the day out yesterday,taking care of business,I treated myself to a haircut and neck message,opened my own checking account,and had an eye dr. appt.
So even though I looked like hell,it felt so good to be in my car,and not be going to a Doctor appt.
Last night,it pained me to see my 2 dogs and even my cats look so depressed about Daisy Mae being gone.It breaks my heart.
I was able to read for an hour last night ,to try and help me sleep.I usually in good times,love to read before bed.For a while now,I can't concentrate on anything.I got some laundry done this am,and decluttered some things.Dust I can tolerate much better than clutter,my own personal OCD.
Called my youngest son last night,just to make sure he was ok,he sounded sober,and clear.Small miracles.He and I are trying the best we can.
Have another busy ,crazy week.Neurologist appt Monday am,Tuesday I am going house hunting ,never did this before.Hubby always took care of lots of stuff,but I am finding I am not too bad doing these things.Wednesday,back to the hospital for Paul's sleep deprived EEG.This means he has to stay up all night after midnight.I have lots of bills to pay this week.Paul has totally tanked our finances.Oldest son checks in on me once a week ,he is so special.Big hearted,caring,compassionate.I am so proud of him.Especially since the first part of his life was very very hard.He has overcome so much .Peace
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