I wanted to post last night,just didn't have it in me.I felt really bad yesterday,physically and emotionally.The night before last I tripped and fell,and really hurt myself.I didn't break anything,but I fell on the surgery knee,and my hands with the arthritis are killing me.Nothing new in the Dementia front,except I just can't stand living with my husband this way.It is like being with a 53 year old toddler.
I woke up this am,to a mess in the kitchen,made my husband because he was up all night.The garbage was overflowing,garbage all over.I have enough jobs in the am to do with the cats and dogs and turtle.
Got a call from one of my middle sons,who has kept me away from grandson.I was so sad when I got off the phone.Number one,I could tell by his tone,that he doesn't believe me about his step dad.He wasn't mean,but he wasn't warm either.I raised my sons with lots of love and affection.I can't stand being around cold,robotic people.I can't believe that 2 of my sons are so cold.
Satan just left for mens prayer,what a joke,he is so mean,nasty,cruel,he is everything opposite of how Jesus is.I know it is the Dementia,but at this point,I don't care.
I am so lonely,I am tired of people not believing me about hubbies Dementia.
I have a super busy week coming up,I need to get the 2 dogs Kennel Cough for boarding them when I go to Hershey-UPenn with hubby the week of March 10th.I have 2 sick cats,who I am bringing to the vet this week.I have to contact Duke in NC to get hubbies records faxed to Dr.E in PA.I have to talk with my best bud about cat and turtle care while I am gone.
I have to pay bills,make phone calls,go grocery shopping(yuck),get my rx's refilled,and on and on.
My kitchen floor looks like a mudroom,and I just don't have it in me to mop it.I hate when I feel like this.
Sunday March 9th I get a measly hour or so with my 2 year old grandson.I have to drive 30 minutes to see him,because they won't bring him to our home.I will do it to be with Donovan,but his parents make me angry.
Than the week after we go to PA,I am leaving for a week in SC to spend some good time with new grandaughter Katrina Grace and my son Tom and his super wife Kristin.I am not a big fan of driving long distances,but you do what you gotta do.
My youngest son has been a real snot lately.Last night he upset me,he moves out next weekend,Hooray!He has so much crap in his room upstairs,I can't wait for the room to be empty,so I can someday transform it into a nice sitting room/aka guest room.
I am disgusted with myself and my eating habits.I know how to eat right,I know all about healthy foods,however when I am depressed or sad,I just don't eat right.All my clothing is tight again,it was so nice before all this for the first time in years,to have my clothing baggy.
I don't know what to say to people anymore.When I feel like this I isolate myself.So many people don't know what to say to me,or they say something cruel,or well meaning but stupid,which makes me feel worse.
I have so much to do today,but i don't feel like doing anything but showering and reading.
I check in on my online support group for FTD daily,many times daily.It is my one sanity in my insane world with hubby.Those people truly are the only ones that understand my plight.
I feel bad that we all have to go through this.Peace
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