The Asylum

It is Saturday Feb 2,1:24 EST.This morning was bad here,really bad.Paul went out after I took his car keys,he had spares hidden.When he got back,he was talking crazy,and getting increasingly agitated and psycho.Nick,my 20 year old,the baby of the 4 boys,was sobbing by the time Paul had run out of venom.Try talking to someone with Pick's disease,or FTD,it is like talking in crazy circles.When you are done talking,your brain is fried,and you have no idea which way is up.Now that Paul has worn himself out,he is asleep on his "bed" .He said he was going to run away and dissapear without a trace,than he said he was going to run into a tree,or kill himself.
Of course there was the ever popular "YOu just want my Social Security .""You want me to have this disease so you can put me away."Yeah right,I wouldn't wish this disease on my worst enemies.It is Hell,I tell you,Pure unadulterated hell!
In a little bit,I am going to finally shower,and go into town and get out for a bit.The fresh air,it is almost 60 here today,and sunny.I am going to get out among the living,even if it is a short time.I will take any moment of peace I can grab.
I started dejunking my room this am,it is looooong overdue,even my cobwebs have cobwebs.
I am going to get someone around here soon,to totally rearrange my bedroom furniture,new look,fresh start,so at least there can be some order in my chaos.
I had to take an antianxiety pill after this mornings crap,so I am feeling more mellow.
Hubby threatened me this morning,I calmly told him,you get ugly,I call the police,they take you away.Period.Being a survivor of all kinds of abuse,I have a survival mode that kicks in automatically.
I will not allow anyone,man ,woman or child to hurt me again.
My brain is tired ,and I need to get moving,or I will not move.Peace