Have been up since 5 am,preparing legal documents,Living will,etc.....Slept well last night again,must be the Benadryl.I still feel so tired and exhausted though.Since yesterday am,husband has been awake a total of 7 hours,the rest of the time sleeping on the couch.He is still trying to go to work and Paint.Youngest son told me yesterday that hubby can't even paint a straight line anymore.This is a house painter with a great 35 year reputation.So son is basically the foreman on the job,and Paul just goes ,I think it is the last normalcy he can hold onto,but it is slipping very fast.
He has not showered in days,nor brushed his teeth.In the grand scheme of things,these trivial matters can go by the wayside.He only wants soda and sweets,so I try and get him to drink Gator ade,and juice in between the soda.This Pick's disease causes the sufferer to want sweets and junk all the time.It is odd to have your husband in the house,but so silent.He is fast becoming mute.I watch him twitch in his sleep,count numbers,talk gibberish,my heart breaks all over again.H seems like an infant in so many ways.Next week I need to go to Social Security and do all that junk.I hate Goverment workers.
I prepped youngest son yesterday ,and for the past week,If you want to work,you need to tak over Dads business right away.He is bearing a very heavy load for a 20 year old.
The weather here today is bleak,just like my life.Rainy,Sleet,Gloomy.I have already had 3 cups of coffee,still feel tired.Now I am onto my Diet Coke(Gods Gift)I love that stuff.
I am hoping for good weather for Feb 9th.My beloved Mom is supposed to drive down from NJ.Of course if the weather is bad,no go.I miss her terribly,and I need my mommy.Somedays I feel like sucking my thumb and curling up with my favorite blanket.I feel so insignificant.
I am walking around feeling like I have the body of an 80 year old woman.My arthritis is so bad,my psoriasis is flaring up the worst it has been,my exzema is out of control,I am breaking out from too much stress.Peace.....
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