Back From Sumter South Carolina!

I don't know how well I will be able to express myself tonight.I arrived home Sunday afternoon,after a 6 hour drive.I have a precious new grandaughter,Katrina Grace.She arrived 5 weeks early,weighing in at 5 pounds 11 oz.She had some complications,was rushed to Infant intensive care,but she is doing really well now.I got to be in the delivery room,which was a very pleasant surprise.Daughter in law originally wanted just her and my son Tom.When labor started she wanted me in there.I have 2 grandbabies now,and was lucky enough to witness and participate in both their births.
When I got home ,both giant water bowls for the dogs and cats were bone dry.This was a big worry when I left.Of course Satan,oops I mean "husband" assured me all was well.Then again,he has Dementia.
It was bittersweet not to be able to share the joy like we used to over family events,I got over it pretty quickly though,as the time there was hectic,and I was sleep deprived,as was everyone else.
I am thankful Katrina will be coming home soon,I know my son and daughter in love will be too.

Of course my joy was not to be,as Satan reared his ugly head around 5 pm,sundowning time in Dementia terms.Normally I am very patient,I was running on fumes,and when he started in on me I freaked out.Which of course makes someone with dementia lots worse.
He came home from work with son tonight,and started in on me again tonight.Tonight I really lost it.I screamed and cursed him,he started to threaten me,he put his finger on me,and said what are you going to do.I told him,you touch me ,I call the cops,they drag your damn ass away.I told him to get the fuck out of my face and leave me alone.Of course,being that he has dementia,he thinks he is fine,and I am the one with the problem.This only adds to my anger and frustration,because according to him,I am always wrong and he is fine.
Tonight,I sent like the 5th email to the Dr. at U.Penn who already agreed to get Paul in to his program,still haven't heard back since the original reply Feb 14th.
I am burned out,tired,angry ,very angry.I who am not a drinker of alcohol by any means,just poured some red wine in my diet coke.Of course the psycho crazy hubby stopped 2 of his meds as well,which were anti psychotics and mood stabalizers.So on one hand,I am overjoyed about the new life in our family,a girl after years and years of boys.On the other hand,I am trying to hold it together,handle everything,including Paul;s stuff,yadayada.Honest to God,if it weren't for my online FTD support group,I do not know what I would do.They have been invaluable.They give me a reality check.No one else on this earth ,other than them,truly understand what I am going through.I feel really alone.I am mad a certain people in our lives who either stay away,or don't seem to give a shit.
I am planning a trip down to SC for Easter,with my mom,my brother from California,my youngest son Nick.I plan to board the dogs this time,so I don't have to worry about them.My best friend will be looking in on the cats.I feel as if I am suffocating in my own home.I hate that feeling,this home should be my sanctuary,it is now my prison,when Paul is home.
Peace