A Night of Peace

I am writing this,early Sunday morning ,6:10 EST.Husband never came home,I was praying he wouldn't.Youngest son called him on his cell,he was staying in a vacant apt he painted yesterday.
I used to love when this man came home from work,used to get so excited when his truck would pull up.Now I don't care if I ever see his face again.I have made up my mind,that I am going to get going on my life.If he doesn't want help or treatment,that is his deal.I am going to build myself a life,without him if need be.

I watched Larry the Cable Guy for a little while with 20 year old son,it felt good to laugh without hubby in the house,to kill the joy.I slept pretty well.I must admit I am anxious as to what today will bring,if and when husband comes home.I have gotten good at ignoring him when he turns into a monster,I am running out of patience though.I need to be strong,stay calm,and not take his shit anymore.
For the first time in my adult life,I am planning for a life alone.No spouse,no boyfriend,just me.I make the decisions,I plan for me,and not letting anyone shit on me is another big one.
I was proud of myself last night,I cleaned the turtle tank by myself,it is a huge job,but I did it.I was sore afterwards,but I accolmplished what I wanted to do.
Now I get to look at a sparkling clean tank for Homer,my painted pond turtle who is 6.
For anyone that doesn't know I am a huge animal lover.I have 2 dogs,Seamus and Gracie,8 and 9 in that order.I have 8 cats,Eliza Jane,Spanky,Destiny,Jasmine,Sweet Pea,Bella,Rocky and Apollo.Destiny was my husband's cat,she would lay with him all the time.She knows there is something wrong with him,and now avoids him like the plague.This past year husband started hurting the animals,he would deny it of course,the nature of Dementia.Most of the animals act weird when Paul is around.They sense he is off,animals are very intuitive.
I treasure the times when I take a nap,or get in bed for the night,and my 2 dogs come and lay at the side of my bed,and at least 3-4 cats cuddle with me.
With all the stress of late,my hot flashes have returned with a vengeance.I am already hot natured,since birth.Now I feel like I have my own personal furnace .So even though the temps may drop to 30,I still have my fan running,LOL.
I plan on relaxing today,as best as I can.Read,use the pc,sit on the porch and enjoy the country air.Of course,hubby could return and kill that plan.I plan to seize this day.Peace