This year I hate Valentines day!

I haven't written in a day or so.Too depressed.Long story short,today,finally got good news about a Doctor who specializes in Frontotemporal dementia in Hershey PA,who is willing to take Paul without a referral.I emailed him personally and begged him. The most recent neuro,wrote a scathing,mean spirited,cruel letter,that was less a referral than a personal attack on me,my weight,and my depression,which has nothing to do with my husband and his aberrent behavior.

I went through this when I had cancer.It was very painful and hurtful to have Doctors insult me because I am heavy,not listen to my real fears,and complaints,because i am on antidepressants.There is no excuse for that.i know i am not alone,and that it happens to others,It is inexcusable.

I am happy my mom is here,sad she is leaving,day after tomorrow,and she got to see first hand what a psychopath husband has turned into.Now he is even going off at me in front of her,and taking her aside every day to tell her how I have taken all his money.
On a good note,this morning is when the Doctor emailed me to tell me the good news.Even though I have to travel from southern va to Pennsylvania,it is worth it to find out what the hell is wrong with Pauls brain.
It is getting to the point where I am going to divorce him.He is cruel,mean,doesn't shower,brush his teeth,change his clothing.And he directs all his evil at me.Even though I still try and be nice.Today I didn't care.No matter how nice and patient I am,he is crazy,cruel,aggressive,and I hate him.
I bought him a box of candy for valentines day,just a little something,this used to be a big day for us,he was romantic several years ago.He gave the candy to his friend.Of course I was not expecting anything from him.That is ok,I don't want anything but peace.Him out of my face,out of my life.I am tired of selfish,rotten ,arrogent bastard men!
My youngest son age 20 and his best bud,took my mom and Davrons grandma out for Valentines day.I was invited,but am too depressed to go.I am at the end of my rope.I am so tired of trudging on,day to day,only to have people judge me by my weight,or my depression.I just want people to see my heart,but they don't look that far.Peace.....