Saturday, February 2, 2008
Loneliness and Heartbreak
It is night time,the time when I feel the saddest,the world quiets down,and I get to hear my heart racing out of my chest,I hear the sound of silence.I see the man I married curled up on the couch like a little kid,no talking,my stomach is ripping apart.My heart breaks for my son Nick who is losing his best pal,and buddy.His dad.Nick's best friend in the whole world,Paul,was killed in a car crash a few months ago,a year before that another close buddy died in a car crash.He said to me recently,Mom,why does everyone I love die???!!Talk about ripping a mommas heart in two.It hit me today,I mean really hit me,that I am alone,I am going to be without my husband in the near future,I really am now evern though he is still technically here,.Mentally he is gone.Peace...
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i so do not want this to happen to you or jimmy.. :((( what can i do? i am very glad i do not have pick's or i pray i do not (the neurologist made a pointed statement that if started showing a lot of new symptoms fast; to get back there asap.. i dislike the neuro intensely and his staff even more as does jw.. *if* i have to have a neuro; then i want it to be someone else. i would prefer to just keep going to my internist who is my "family" doctor and go with her suggestions.
sorry, enough about me. i just keep thinking of all you are going through; and what all jimmy may have to go through; and i don't want that at all for either one of you.
blessed be;
jw's
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