So husband comes home today after "working".He tells me he is going to Farmville tomorrow am,so I take a deep breath and say,Hon,you are not driving anymore.If looks could kill,I would have been dead on the spot.His eyes ,once warm and loving,cold,calculating and scary.
Just made him dinner,even though my entire body is in such pain.Both my legs are acting up today,the stress doesn't help it.
I am having some wine mixed with diet coke.I have to be sneaky,because with Pick's disease,FTD,they crave alcohol.Hubby was never a big drinker,and than over 2 years ago,started drinking it like water.So I have to hide the wine bottle in my closet.
My computer is in the Family Room,right next to his "bed"aka couch.I need my youngest son to move it into my room,so I can have peace and quiet,but he never seems to be around.
I know I need to eat dinner,but I have no appetite,and as I said before in an earlier blog,Food and me have always had a love affair.I have to force myself to eat small healthy things,but everytime I put it in my mouth I gag.
My head is so full,it feels like a bomb waiting to go off.My heart is still racing.Soon husband will do his nightly 4 hours of Law and Order,Without a Trace and other morbid shows.We only have the one tv.What I want to watch doesn't count anymore.Keeping husband quiet and mellow does.
I usually read a lot,but can't even concentrate on a few lines.I am not advocating suicide by my next statement,by any means,but I sure know why people would want to end the intense emotional pain.Peace.....
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